The VFab Baby Fund

When I got pregnant with my first baby I was 23 years old, just figuring out life, and married. After a couple months into the pregnancy my husband and I separated due to "irreconcilable differences" which later led to a divorce. Although he was there for all the dr appointments I was left to experience a first time pregnancy on my own. The fluttery kicks, the growing belly, the much bigger kicks, and the exhaustion was all I had to fill the void of loneliness I felt. Extreme depression and stress left me worried that my baby would have issues. On November 14, 2004 my perfect, healthy, and amazing son Krimzon was born. I had no idea what I was doing and I was about to jump in head first into motherhood. With the help of my mom for the first 2 months I was able to learn a whole lot and somehow survive. We had a small one bedroom apartment with a broken heater and I would hold him all night to keep warm and make feedings easier. I will never forget the struggles of the first year, but with the help of family and my sons father, Krimzon and I did alright. When my son was a toddler I remarried someone I had been dating for a little over a year, only for it to end after lots of broken promises. The hope I had to finally have a stable family and life was soon lost, and I was forced to move out and live out of my car with my toddler. We crashed on friends couches for a while until I could get an apartment. The disappointment and confusion on my sons face when I told him the man that I called my husband, and the main male role model in his life, wasn't coming with us was heartbreaking. I'll never forget the day he found me on the bathroom floor in tears because I failed again. He handed me tissue, hugged me, and said "it's okay". I knew then I had to get it together, husband or not, and keep going. Fast forward to 2017 and I find myself pregnant again in a similar situation. I was sure for at least the last 8 years I was never going to have another child because keeping up with life and finances had become so difficult. People often told me I should have more but I didn't see how would ever be possible. I spent most of my time working at the salon, working after hours doing side jobs, and even working some days off just to make ends meet. How would I ever have the time or money to support another tiny human?? On February 27, 2017 I sat in the bathroom stall of Sprouts grocery store staring at a positive pregnancy test. I had just signed a lease on a new business and I was finally going to quit my job of 15 years and go out on my own. I was already under a lot of pressure and stress and having a baby was the last thing I needed. After talking to the baby's father it was clear he was not at a point in his life where a new baby was something he wanted. How in the world was I going to do this alone again, especially at a time where there was so much going on in my life already?? Barely able to support my family of 2 I couldn't imagine how I would support another. I prayed harder than I ever had before asking for guidance and forgiveness, because I felt I just couldn't do it. After church one day I was driving home, overwhelmed with emotion, and it hit me....why couldn't I do this?? I was healthy, I have a home, I have consistent work, and I have an amazing child I've already raised. I was chosen. I've seen friends as family of mine struggle to get pregnant. This baby chose ME to be its mother. After informing the baby's father I was going to follow through with the pregnancy there were some hurtful words said to me, and then communication deteriorated. I know it's going to be hard, and that's why I am asking you for help. I just need help to cover living expenses long enough for me to take 2 months off of work to have this little miracle growing inside of me. For those of you that know me well know that I myself am a very giving person. I have a hard time asking for or receiving help, but this time I seem to have no other options. You can donate here or directly to me via PayPal looking up my email vfab81@gmail.com, or through venmo. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and consider a donation.