The Noeline & Russell Greek Odyssey

This is for those of you who know and love Noeline Margaret Purdy, and to you who might only know her by connecting with this story. We, her children, with your help, would like to see her realise a dream.

I am her eldest. Our parents were naive Kiwi kids when, at the age of 17 my mother learned of my impending arrival. While that has always been part of our family story, it hits with a different resonance, as my own daughter, full of ideas and dreams about her future, is 17. Heavily pregnant with her third at 21 our mother followed our father to the US to follow his dream, studying at University there. And so began another part of our family story - “the tyranny of distance.” A phrase and analogy that fits in many ways, but mostly for our family it is the longing and the pain that distance from each other has played and continues to play. The marriage of course did not last. Maybe in small town NZ they would have accepted a fate, but University town USA in the early 1970s? Forget about it. And this isn’t such a bad thing - we honestly cannot even imagine how our parents were ever into each other. They are SO different. I guess they were both pretty cute, which accounts for a lot at 17.

At 26, Mum was back in NZ, with four young children, one divorce and a tentative hold on keeping it all together. To go to the US we had left behind our grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins, and to return, we left behind our dad. But nothing prepared any of us for the first big separation, -myself going back to the US to our dad and our littlest brother going to live with his dad. Not surprisingly, the emotional pain of that time influenced mum for a long time, it can be safely said, not in a good way. It set in motion the many more years we have spent apart, than we have spent together.

Through many gallant attempts we have tried to knit our selves geographically back together. Our love and respect for each other has never been something we’ve needed to work at. That is strong, and that is true. Always will be.

We are spread across two continents now, the US and Australia in five different and distant locations, with our wider family in NZ. Our Mum is very proud of us all. We have ‘successful’ lives, good marriages, happy thriving kids and meaningful work. But, we are not ‘successful’ in a way that has helped us forge this tyranny of distance. We spend years not seeing each other, watched our nieces and nephews grow up on skype and facetime. The few times we have managed to get in the one place, I live in fear for the moment my sister and I will have to pull ourselves away from each other, not knowing how long the next time will be. Six years? Seven years? The pain is physical.

A few years ago mum calculated a completely unacceptable figure, based on how many times she had seen her kids and grandbabies in the previous decade, and how long she might live. Every penny she can earn, scrimp and save goes to seeing her family, which still works out that we get to see her and our much loved stepdad and grandfather to our kids, Russell, every three years or so, when its our turn. There have been many times of dreamy longing to find a philanthropist who might help us actually have Christmas all together one year – an impossibility with airfare spiking for holidays. But that is not what has prompted this request.

Mum turns 70 on March 19 and when us ‘kids’ talked about what we really wanted for her, it was something just for her. Not us, not our kids. Something she’s held separate from us – just hers. She and Russell live frugally and he is as dedicated as she to facing the tyranny of distance to see us all. But then there is nothing for them to do what they would otherwise do if we were in one spot. Mum has always had this dream we remember her talking about as kids, to go to the Greek islands. When our brother, Saul was about 19, he called myself and our sister to say he was going to sign up to a really dangerous job while he was on his travels to earn enough to send mum on that holiday. As good sisters and dutiful daughters, we worked hard to talk him out of that idea –but the dream of doing that for her has never died.

So there it is. It is hard to ask – but the TED talk link below has helped us think about it a little differently. Mum has given us so much, she is always helping others and is such a kind, generous person. She inspires well beyond her family for the many physical and mental health mountains she has climbed and conquered. While she is fit enough we wish, and wish with all our might, that our mum can realise a dream she’s held since she was a young woman. We all deserve something so special at least once in a lifetime. Please help us make this happen. With much love

Renee, Josie, Saul and Steve

https://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking#t-808205

Contributions here at Plumfund or link below: https://paypal.me/pools/campaign/108901593029780130

Thank you so very much.