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Make Your Own!
Started by: Jomai DeHaven
You all know me as a survivor. I think sometimes I take that too literally. Since my husband left three years ago, I was determined to do everything on my own. I had to prove it to myself that I could get out of debt from the separation, I had to prove that I could build a new life here, alone in NYC after a quarter of my life spent with him. I barely kept my head above water. I think more than anything in my life, more than cancer, more than losing the use of my hands for a few years, losing my marriage knocked me down, and my stubborn self tried to get back up on my own.
Then I was laid off a year ago, just as I was really starting to get things in my life back in order. My first instinct should have been the one I listened to, but I told myself I should stick it out and continue struggling here on my own. Now, I am learning that I made two mistakes, and I need to ask for help.
My biggest mistake was thinking I could do all this on my own. It was my chosen faemily that got me through everything in life before - especially making it through cancer treatment and recovery, and getting back on my feet afterwards. I'm stubborn and proud and I let it keep me from going back.
The second mistake is not going with my gut feeling a year ago, packing up and moving while I still had money.
I faltered. I'm embarrassed. I want to go home, and I need some help doing it. I need your help.
I'm starting up a business - one that I'm very capable of doing - and I've got coaching to help me learn to do it right. I'm going to need help paying my bills for a few months after I get to California while I get my business up and running. I'll be looking for part-time work the moment I get there so I can help my hosts out, pay for groceries and food for the dog, and go to the city to hang out now and then. That's not going to cover all my needs, though, and still give me the time to really get a startup going. (I'll gladly talk to you about my business plans if you want to hear, or even help with that! I appreciate any business knowledge you can pass along.)
I've got most of the money to fund my physical move, from selling almost everything I own, but I'm going to need help paying my debt payments, paying for advertising for my company, putting my few remaining belongings in storage for a few months, and keeping my phone on. I'll also need to get a new driver's license once I get there, and maybe a bicycle. Everything I make in the first three months from my business is going to go for a deposit for an apartment so I don't have to burden my friend and his husband for long. The good thing is that I won't have to live anywhere expensive if I'm working from home! I will eventually have to get a car again, but that's not an immediate need.
That's why I'm asking for your help. I'm honestly mortified to be asking, but this is where it's at. I need your help. I need to come home. I need to be with my faemily.
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