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Make Your Own!

A hardship fund forMyself

$0 given of $25,000 goal

Help me to start over

Started by: Chris Lambert

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I came home one day to an empty house. I remember my footsteps echoing in the hallways. I was crushed, I had prayed to God to deliver me out of this, but this was a head-on collision with a Mack truck.

I fell apart. I always turn to the Bible when times are good, as well as bad. Tear-filled eyes can not read and like a child I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. Finally, it stopped enough that I could start to read HIS WORD. I must have been reading for 30 to 45 minutes when I put the bible down because a weight lifted from my heart and the pain had stopped. The words I heard were: “I will never leave you.”

I started to laugh and marveled at God: You are awesome and you do have a sense of humor. I gain my strength from him. I decided to throw myself into work, worked two full time jobs trying to pay the bills. Even after he was gone he still managed to mess me up.

Two months after he had been gone, I awakened out of a deep sleep at 3 am to the words: “Get up now and get dressed!” I awoke, then again, I opened my eye to see if anyone was there, but no one was. Then I heard it a third time. By then I sat up and said, “Yes Lord”; and corrected myself and said, “Yes Jesus.” I got out of bed and got dressed. By the time I got into the living room I heard his truck coming down the road and pulling into the driveway. The engine stopped...I held my breath. Thoughts were entering my mind at lightning speed. When his house key turned in the lock, I gasped for air. In my mind I thought, “Lord I never changed these locks!” The door opened and I saw a gun. He had taken the furniture...I had no place to hide. He had not seen me yet, but would soon enough. “All right, God, what now?” I had nowhere to hide.

“Hey Baby, what are you doing here? I love you!”I quickly said. ( God must have popped that thought into my head)

I remember his startled look and the gun disappeared. I walked over to him...boy did he reek of Meth; he stank. He asked me, “Why are you up?” I bravely looked him in the eyes and said, “God told me you were coming!!” He looked at me and stated, “That's why I can not be with you, He always lets you see things and I can not even sneak up to you in the middle of the night!” ----------- What a relief!

I told him how much he stank and advised him to go and take a shower. He said he had to talk to me. I knew God had saved my life and I did not want to hang around. By this time it was 3:15 AM, and I was wide awake. I sat and he sat on the fireplace.

He started with an apology and I just looked at him and asked, “You had to do this at 3:00 in the morning? I guess when you're high, time eludes you.” He thought it was perfectly normal. I told him that I forgive you and that it is water under the bridge, with that he began to shake, as if a demon was escaping from him and all the sudden he said some of the nicest things about me. And how it was not my fault but his. He went as far as telling me I was his best friend; the best wife he could ever hope to have, but just did not want.

He was not going to the same place as I was after death and did not want me to hold on to him any more. He told me that he felt as if I had a rope wrapped around him, heading down a mountain. “Let me go.”, he pleaded. I laughed at him, and said, “You're not dead yet, even though it would be easier for me if you were.” He seemed to relax...or the effect of the drugs lessened. I told him I would pray for him—after all he was still my husband. The look he gave me was so sad...as if he thought, “I am not worthy”. I felt pity for him and prayers in my head had begun to formulate. “The gun!”, I thought

What seemed a short amount of time was actually a couple of hours. I just stood up and said, “I have to go to work.” It did not dawn on him that it was 5 AM, and if I left for work already, I would be sitting in the parking lot at work for several hours. But that did not matter to me. Thus far, everything had gone well. But the drugs were still in him, and one never knows what could happen. I went ahead and left. Later, in the car, half in shock, I praised God for His intervention. I prayed for my ex, that he would be able to stop the drugs and that he would find Christ.

I did not see him again until the divorce. In court, my lawyer had to point him out to me...I didn't recognize him. He had changed. I know he will be drug free one day. And I'm sorry that I will not be there to see him come to Christ. He remarried the day after we divorced, to a 18 year old girl—may he be happy. He stole everything of mine and cleaned out all bank accounts. Let Karma get him.

Last year, his mother phoned me to say, “I think he misses you.” --------Too bad!

 

Today, I still live in a tiny hotel room. I work 130 hours a week, to break it down: this is 18hrs a day every single day of the year. It will take me ten years to pay back all the bills he left me with, two more years to be able to have enough money to repair my vehicle which needs a new engine and transmission, one more year to move into an apartment and buy furniture.

Being a full time student is the most difficult for me, because I have to work so very much. I sleep 3-4 hrs a day. I pray to God that he gives me strength. I simply have to succeed. When you are on the bottom, and you are diligent, eventually - you can rise to the top. I am more than diligent, I will achieve! I have been very sick and have not been able to work. Now I am being threatened to be thrown out of the hotel. Please, help me.

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