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Started by: Sandy Thompson
For Love of My Brother Chuck: A Final Act of Love
We are never prepared to say goodbye to our loved ones. The simple fact that we love them signifies that we want them around for our entire lives. We don’t want to let them go. Even when we know they are going to a better place where they are no longer in pain. We all know death is a part of life, but it is never easy. And no matter how much we want to be there in person to say that final farewell, whether it be in their last days or at their memorial service, it is not always possible. For that reason, I created this page.
I just lost a brother. My mom has lost a son. My niece Kelly and my nephew Mike have lost their father. It is for them that I write this- to help them plan a memorial service to honor their dad- my brother- through their grief. Right now, Kelly and Mike are facing a funeral bill and a mountain of red tape. Losing a parent is devastating enough; the enormous expense is salt upon the wound.
My brother Chuck was only 66 years old. He had been on hospice for several months, and spent his very last days on earth this week surrounded by his children and beloved family, including our mother. He had been in very poor health for more than a year, living in Georgia with his daughter Kelly and her family. Kelly gave up her full-time job to take care of her beloved daddy full-time. She did so with no complaints or regrets - just lots of love, and knowing what an honor it was to take care of him. Her brother Mike (who is so very much like my brother Chuck!) drove down from northern Indiana to give his support, help out and give love whenever he could.
Chuck was my oldest big brother - the second of us Fab Four siblings (my nickname for us!). Always with a smile, a big hug and an infectious chuckle. His great love for his family, his wonderful hugs and his happy-go-lucky chuckle are how I will always remember him and keep him alive in my heart. He had great faith that we shared, and I know we will reunite one day in heaven. Even so, the thought of never again hearing him say “Hello, Sister Dear!”, hear that unmistakable Chuck Chuckle, see his twinkling mischievous eyes, feel his wonderfully healing bear hugs or share a great belly laugh together breaks my heart in a way I cannot breathe. But I know Chuck wouldn’t want that. He would want us to be joyful, so I keep his goofy chuckle in my heart.
Chuck will leave behind his darling mother dear, his two beloved children Kelly & Michael, a loving son-in-law John, his Debbie, 4 adored grandchildren- Kyle, Austin, Haley & Miranda, 3 beloved siblings- his older sister Mary “Sis”, younger brother Rob, a little sister (that’s me), a beloved sister-in-law Julie and two brother-in-laws - Steve and Vidal. Actually, forget about the “in-law” suffix; they were his beloved siblings, too. And while it isn’t tradition to add nieces and nephews by name, I would be remiss if I didn’t do so (we aren’t exactly “traditional”!). Chuck also leaves behind his greatly loved nephews & nieces Johnny, David (& Trish), Chrissy, Matt, Danny & Ana. And yes- lots of loving cousins! Mostly- Chuck leaves behind his legacy of love and laughter, along huge holes in each of our hearts.
I know you will rest in peace, Brother Dear. Say hello to our brother Mickey. I thank God for those five joyous days together with you this year. I treasure those chuckles, belly laughs, songs, hugs and an abundance of love. As hard as it is, we will not let our hearts be troubled. Until we meet again in heaven, where you will be completely healed, and surely strumming your guitar and singing with the angels… and making them laugh.
“Hello, Brother dear!” “Hello, Sister Dear!!”
“How do you feel?” “With my fingers!”
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.
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