Imogen's Music Business Education

My father Dr. Gary F. Dalto passed away in October 2018 very unexpectedly. We chose not to have a funeral or service because I could not handle it emotionally or financially at the time. I may choose to have a memorial near the one year annivesary of his death and/or for his 70th birthday, both in October (if you would like to be notified should I choose to do this, please share your contact information.) For now, I thought I would update everyone on how we're doing.

Even though it has been months, I'm still waiting for the courts to name me the Administrator of his Estate and I am buried with paperwork and bills. When my father passed, everyone asked "what can I do to help?" "do you need anything?" and I stubbornly and foolishly said no no no it's all fine (both because I am a proud person and also because I honestly thought it was all fine). But now I'm letting you all know that if you do want to help - I will accept your help. No pressure, I am not asking for handouts. I'm definitely not putting this out to strangers. I'm not at risk of becoming homeless or anything, I'm still "fine"... But if you care for my father and had wanted to contribute in some way and I didn't let you, well, okay, now I am going to let you. I always believed that my father would be there for me financially. His death was way too soon, way too unexpected. I was counting on him to help with my kid's tuition or for a downpayment on a house. I was shocked when he died and I continue to be shocked everyday that I fail to find all that money we thought he had. There is some money in the estate - eventually after several months and all the bills are paid off, there will be a little something left over. But in the meantime I can't seem to dig myself out from under this pile of paperwork and bills.

There's a ton of legal fees and paperwork and red tape to deal with. (For example, my lawyer recently asked for an original copy of my parent's divorce decree - they've been broken up for over 3 decades, I have no idea where that would be.) All this stress and trouble for what will probably not end up being much of an "estate" anyway. It's looking like a lot of my father's money was wrapped up in his business but I have no claim to any of that. (I can't get into specifics, but basically, I have no legal claim to any of his business money so I am at the mercy of his business associate/s.) A lot of people know what his wishes were for me after his death (including his business associate/s) because he talked about it often. But I guess he didn't expect to die anytime soon because he did not put any of it in writing. He did not leave a will, he did not have life insurance, he did not add me to any of his accounts, he did not put anything in writing with his business associate/s. I'm sure they know his wishes, but they are choosing not to do anything about it (which they're 100% legally allowed to do). Legally, they can choose to help me and cut me in or not. They are choosing not. They've refused to communicate with me at all except for some really nasty texts about how I was a bad daughter for "letting my father live alone". Letting? Sorry, but if you've ever met Gary Dalto, you know that no one "let" him do anything. He did what he wanted and he was very happy in his new apartment.

Speaking of the apartment, he owes back rent and late fees (yes, they're charging late fees on a dead man's apartment) but I can't sign to break his lease until I am the administrator of the estate (unless I want to risk becoming personally responsible for the bills). He also owes money to all his utilities, cell phone, car lease, even a red-light camera ticket. Some of the bills have gone into collections, even though I've informed everyone of his passing. I'm not personally responsible for any of these bills, the estate is. But as I wait and wait to get access to the estate, the late fees are growing and what little there is in the estate is slowing chipping away with every new bill that pops up. (I found out this week that there's also a small business loan that went into default when he passed away. But I can't legally touch any of the business's money to pay it. I loved my father but he really left me in a shitty position.)

I always believed that my father would be there to help me. It's so crazy to think that he's actually gone and that he didn't prepare anything to help provide for me afterwards. I've said this before - if you have loved ones, GET A WILL. Make your wishes known and put them in writing. At the end of all this, we will be okay and whatever is left over after all the bills are paid, will go towards the last year of tuition at Drexel University.