Fam of 2 trying to move on

Hi there, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this, My name is Taylor and I'm 24 years old....and I'm honestly in a wee bit of a pickle... like the rest of the world, things have hit the fan in the last two years and probably before that- but ignorance is bliss, and being willingly naive there were alot of things that went unnoticed until we became locked in the house for such a long time. I live with my mom and step dad who are currently struggling to get a divorce. My relationship with my mother has always been uncommon- defined by neglect and manipulation; something I grew to recognize as her alcohol addiction. My bio dad was never present, but gosh I was so lucky to have my stepdad in my life and is my father as far as I'm concerned. My mother was always eratic while dad was constant when not working. When I was 7, he had a gruesome accident while working demolition, and he suffers severe nerve damage that is charted to spread for the rest of his life, and he always managed to take care of me, even when things were touch and go with my mom. I was even left in his care by CPS for an entire year and he took me to school everyday on crutches. Mom continued her erratic behavior until my step dad settled a lawsuit regarding said accident. She made a complete 180° for quite a few years. Things weren't perfect but, we were happy . She even went to school! After getting a job in her field, her behavior became strange. The drinking started. She'd stay up all night, often come home late ... this came to a head when she was fired. Being much older now, I found in addition to her struggles with alcohol that a history of drug use was reforming. Obviously, I care for my mother and have pleaded many times to stop, and that ofcourse only inspired defensive behavior. During the height of the pandemic, she began disappearing for weeks at a time. My step dad and I tried to reach out to various family members that might be able to get through to her. Things got worse. My mother had been way ahead of us and had already covered her tracts with her version of events. Most people who struggle with addiction know exactly where to go to get the money they need for their fix, and for my mother that was her parents. I asked them for help, and somehow I've found myself cut off from the small amount of family we have. Aside from isolation from my relatives, every attempt i make to reach out to others results in verbal attacks from her , and sending me to work with boxes lunch the very next day. I've always wanted a mom in my life, and i spent most of it trying to earn that good side of her all the time. My step dad and I have obviously been fed up for quite some time with this, but with Covid we've been unable to move out, especially because she's rigged my stepdads monthly payments for delivery to a bank account that he can't access. I managed to get myself in quite a bit of debt while out of work and simultaneously trying to care for her financially. I'm fortunate to be back at work and to be promoted, but I'm never ever to catch up. I always pay off my debts but find myself immediately taking on more debt to survive on a day to day. My credit score is low, so i can't get a loan, and one push would really really help us out. I think whatever shady thing she has worked out with his checks will most likely require some kind of court action, which will be lengthy, and probably out of our price range. I honestly don't know how effective this website is but, I'm absolutely desperate. I spend every night in deep anxiety,and my days an emotional hostage when I'm not working full time yet somehow always finding myself in overdrawn days before my paycheck. I would be able to move out if I was able to pay off this debt, and look after my step dad the way he's looked after me until everything is sorted out legally.

I'm really sorry for the long explanation, I'm not really comfortable with asking for something like this, but I really have noone to turn to, and I can't deal with this situation much longer as it's disastrous to the mental health of my father and I, and the stress only makes his condition more painful. We're the only family eachother has and I'm sure the physical pain in addition to the anxious feelings we share is destroying him. I know if we can rise above and leave, we could breathe much easier, and hopefully come to heal from everything. If you are part of that, Thank you so so much for the help and support♡

Thanks for listening ♡